A Writer’s Hiatus

February 27, 2011

Sometimes I wonder if I have a soul,
Sometimes I wonder if I have a heart…

So What if I watch myself bleed?
Aren’t they my choices, my own life to lead?
Or does that make me a monstrosity,
a freak of nature, and empty figurine?

So let me be, just let me wallow,
I’ll find a new path for me to follow.
Stay away from civilized men,
make my home in a barren den.

I cannot care for other’s pain,
I never bothered my souls black stain.

To this mounting madness my life will succumb,
such a beautifully numbing wonderful craze.
I’ll live my life in this demented haze,
running ’round my psychotic maze,
frenzied will be the rest of my days.

And while I wander amongst my mind’s graves,
the final testament to my old sane ways,
I call upon my blackened soul,
to lead me to my new, dark home,
the brink of hell, where my missing heart lays.


Protected: My Life Has Become a Country Song

August 15, 2010

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A Simple Twist of Fate

August 6, 2010

Inspirations have been flowing into me from someone who, by a simple twist of fate, walked into my life. I’ve picked up the pages of my dusty manuscript. Picked up my pen. It’s good again.

“He felt the heat of the night hit him like a freight train
Moving with a simple twist of fate.”

Lyrics and song discussion Here.

Once Upon a Time

July 2, 2010

“There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily I am.” The Mad Hatter

“I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time
And every creature lends themself to change your state of mind
And the girl that chase the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill
Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels …”

Once Upon a Time there lived a Girl. She was adventurous and independent. Some friends and she together, opened a nice travel company. Free trips abounded from this venture. It was business, you know.

One day The Girl and her friends went on a trip South, far South into the land of sun and sea. The Girl met a Guy. Small world, he was from her home town. They walked on the beach, made love on the beach. In the light of the full moon The Girl knew she’d met The One. So tall, so dark, so incredibly handsome. Like a Dark Fairytale Prince was he.

The girl and the Prince returned to their own homes in that Same Town, but could not forget each other. One night on bended knee with the skyline of the city lit up, the moon shining down, he asked her to be his Princess. He promised her the Moon, the Stars, Forever. She believed him.

He said he would provide a castle for her, his chariot a white Porshe. It would all be hers. The Prince told The Girl his family was affluent, they worked in ‘commerce’ and ‘trade’. It seemed so, the place of business, tall, blue, shining glass; the people well attired and professional. The Girl thought her Prince must be one of the most charming, smooth and funny men she’d ever met. They had a child, a Princess Child.

After a while things began to change. The Girl wasn’t allowed to have her own business any longer. The Prince, saying he must keep his “Kingdom” in order denied her ability to come and go as she once did. Whenever The Girl left the ‘castle’ she had to have an escort. The Prince would not allow her to venture out by herself, to have contact with family, with past friends. The ‘castle’ had become a prison.

The Girl was no longer happy, her Prince no longer always the funny, charming Guy. Then It happened. The knowledge of what the “kingdom” meant, what the “kingdom” did in life outside the Fairy Tale. The Girl could not have herself nor her Princess child remain in the confines of the fraud Fairy Tale any longer. The Girl devised a way to evade her ‘escort’ while on a shopping excursion.

The Girl and the Princess Child disappeared for a while. A knight came forth one day; it became his mission to watch over The Girl and the Princess Child. He took this mission to heart it seems and fell in love with The Girl. Another Child was born, this time to The Girl and The Knight. Life was good. Life wasn’t in a tall glass tower any longer but in a grassy place surrounded by people not of ‘royalty’.

When The Girl first left The Prince she thought her life would end, that things would never be good again, but she was wrong. Things regarding life though would change, her name no longer hers, The Princess child no longer could have contact with The Prince Father or his family.

It still unfolds. To be continued.

The term ‘falling down the rabbit hole’ has a distinct meaning for me. Especially in the here and now.
“Her Name is Alice” Shinedown

Never Say Goodbye: Bon Jovi

June 16, 2010

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin’ on – we got to try
Holdin’ on to never say goodbye

I guess you’d say we used to talk
About busting out
We’d break their hearts
Together – forever

Until we meet again.

American Idol: Top Two and Drool

May 26, 2010

In an incredibly predictable finale like this one – viewer’s main suspense lies in what complete disaster of a song will the ‘triumphant’ winner have to sing for their coronation tune. There wasn’t much of a question of the ‘who part’ for the finale, that was pretty much a given after the top ten was decided. I’m thinking that the judge panel need more lessons in acting to pull off a more realistically none manipulated program.

It was apparent to me since almost the beginning that Crystal Bowersox was the obvious choice for winner. Problem started a few weeks back when it became day-glo neon brightly obvious that Lee Dewyze the ‘new’ favorite of Simon Cowell. That and with the American target audience of this show largely of the feminine persuasion, it’s damn hard for one of their own to pull it off anymore.

The Last Two Standing Idols get a sort of WWE entrances with Lee dashing through the crowd hand spanking the audience. Crystal has an unfortunate moment with her entrance but manages to muddle through. That made Point One for Lee on Good Entrance, Crystal, Fail.

We have to endure Lee’s odd parents deliver a glowing biographical moment discussing his childhood aspirations to be a pro baseball player, shortstop in fact. He then mumbled something about somehow ‘knowing’ even back then he was really meant to be a singer.

Crystal’s bio moment had her flashing back to finding, back in her Daddy’s closet, likely behind the latest stash of Sensimilla Red Roze, an old guitar. She was on the prowl for Christmas presents and figured that must be one of them. So began her ‘career’ in music and her singing at Malls. (Oh look, just like Taylor Hicks did in the Phillipines only then he was like, what, thirty?)

I give Crystal the win over Lee in the bio moment because she started in music doing what Taylor got to do after winning Idol and I dug her hippie Dad.

Lee performs the “The Boxer” obviously thinking he was previously quite brilliant at it. It goes much like the first time I heard it, rather mumbling, raspy but infused with spit. Camera shots were very unflattering for him, each pan at his face showed gobs of thick stringy spittle lacing the inside of his mouth like some sort of gooey spider webb. Made me quite nauseous. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like that, in fact. I know I never want to again.

The past couple of weeks Crystal seemed somewhat complacent and not highly motivated to win this show. That or Dad was smuggling her in some of that Red Roze wonder herb before show time. She brought back the Janis Joplin and does “Me and Bobby Magee” in fine form.

First song goes to Crystal Bowersox leaving now with her 2 points and Lee 1, “ding”.

I can’t help wonder why Randy apparently dressed himself in a dark closet for the show. He’s wore a coral colored tuxedo type jacket paired with some sort of paisley fluffy silk shirt. It’s a mad, mad combination that truly needed a red rubber nose attachment. The red clown nose would have at least made his rambling, nonsensical commentary more interesting.

Next spittle face (Lee) tried to kill my ears warbling out his imitation of REM with “Everybody Hurts.” Completely clueless as to what the tune and melody should be, he was quite terrible. Forget any emotion, forget any fucking direction for the song, REM likely laughing their asses off if they heard him. It was a big groaning moment but I was spared having to look at tons of string spit – one good thing about the song. The judges say things, I don’t take notes.

Crystal sang “Black Velvet”, but wore a mistake of a black gown completely wrong for her full figure. The dress was so tight around her thighs she appeared to waddle down those stage stairs, it also made her ass look three feet wide. Her delivery of the song was near to perfect and unlike Lee, she never has copious amounts of spittle in her mouth as she sings. Therefore, score another in the “V” column for Crystal. The guitarist does a fine job, I must add.

Expecting some sort of drivel-riddled song about going so far or unicorns and rainbows, instead Lee is allowed to sing U2’s “Beautiful Day”. You know, the one that our current President used ad nauseum in his campaign for the position he’s failing miserably at in the Oval office.

Someplace out there Bono must have been cringing at the not even good enough for a karaoke performance Lee brought the song. It’s boring and lacking in any emotion. You know, the way Lee usually sings songs…

Kara, the hopefully in her last season as judge, loves it and comments on his ‘commercial voice’. I’m thinking commercial as in an example of how “how not to sing” U2. Forget the other judges, I made no notes here either.

Crystal performs “Up To The Mountain”, a blues-gospel type dirge but better than any of the other season’s pathetic coronation songs anyone has had to sing. (“Do I Make You Proud” comes to mind.) Sadly this tune is more in-step with past coronation songs complete with mountains, valleys and glory notes. That said, Crystal still wins this round.

We get entreatied at this point with some bloke from the U.K., Will Young, whom I guess won that country’s karaoke show with season nine flash backs of contestants I’ve already forgotten. Is that the song we’ve heard all season?

I thought more attention might be provided Cowell, being his last time to judge but I guess tomorrow night’s megathon of suck will have him sharing the limelight with the hapless Idol ‘winner’. He did at least show up wearing a jacket. Still no word on his replacement but I am crossing my fingers for Harry Connick, Jr.

So, as far as I’m thinking, it’s Lee one, Crystal four. American tweens and housewife fans will have the final say so we’ll just have to stay tuned. Dial Idol has Lee handily winning this thing and with the VFTW cotillion promising to cast their votes, it’s a matter of hours until we find out. See you tonight, bring wine and Jack Daniels if you have it.

American Idol Top Three: Hallelujah It’s Almost Over

May 19, 2010

I think I lost 37,000,000 brain cells last night watching that now oh-so-obviously scripted piece of karaoke television called American Idol.

Last weekend was the top three Idols’ homecomings and our local FOX news, even through what seemed to be a monsoon rain, covered Casey James as heavily as the rain pouring down. (that was too easy) Interestingly and tellingly, outside of the obligatory AT&T store front sponsorship, the show ran no footage of the homecoming festivities. You know, it might have swayed the at-home viewers into voting differently from the direction the show wanted to steer the herd. Captain Obvious, Lee Dewyze, did get marginally more air-time, let’s sit and speculate why…OK that was long enough. More air-time and more of everything else.

Casey James selected a song, that if anyone paid attention, an obvious head nod that it was his last night. Song choice, “OK It’s All Right With Me” by Eric Hutchinson. Kara Dioguardi called it an ‘unknown’ song showing what an idiot to the ninth degree she really is.

Sure, cowboy Casey could have selected a number of other songs that may have been a bit better but then he couldn’t blatantly have let on to the folks at home he realizes his time on the show is over.
Casey James “OK It’s All Right With Me”

Randy and Ellen agreed the song was ‘just all right’ for them. Simon baited Kara (it’s just too easy) into a ridiculously overly serious discussion of song climaxing. But then climaxing and Kara go hand in hand.

Kara and RandytheBoBo picked “Daughters” for Casey, a really terrible song selection, it’s a treacly ballad, one of John Mayer’s most lackluster efforts, but with the masses inability to tell good from bad music, made him a lot of money. Casey gives it the lackluster treatment it deserves. I must add, his voice sounds very good on the song; James can actually carry a tune.

Casey James “Daughters”

Kara and Randy attempted to make their song choice out to be stellar – Simon didn’t agree but he does say, rather quietly at the end of the critique that Casey’s vocals sounded quite good.

Crystal Bowersox selected “Come To My Window” by Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres picked “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney for her. She hauled along her harmonica rig and sporadically played it going for the ‘folk’ singer vibe. I have to hand it to her at least she did not alter the lyrics and kept true to the “Maybe I’m Amazed” song. That said it was not her best night.

I had to take into consideration after watching the theatrics provided Lee, how sparse the settings for Casey and Crystal and cut them a lot of slack. Lee was treated like the second coming of some higher being – goal to inspire the lemmings and peasants to follow the show’s lead and go ga-ga over his out of tune performances. Having the choir come in along with the string section and basically drown him out on “Hallelujah” was a brilliant move. He was out of tune and vocally inept and weak in comparison to anyone else on the history of this show who have sung that song. (Nod to Timmeh.)
Regarding Idol, Jason Castro’s version better than Lee’s.

To go home tonight, after the Idol bus ran over him, Casey James.