American Idol Top Three: Hallelujah It’s Almost Over

May 19, 2010

I think I lost 37,000,000 brain cells last night watching that now oh-so-obviously scripted piece of karaoke television called American Idol.

Last weekend was the top three Idols’ homecomings and our local FOX news, even through what seemed to be a monsoon rain, covered Casey James as heavily as the rain pouring down. (that was too easy) Interestingly and tellingly, outside of the obligatory AT&T store front sponsorship, the show ran no footage of the homecoming festivities. You know, it might have swayed the at-home viewers into voting differently from the direction the show wanted to steer the herd. Captain Obvious, Lee Dewyze, did get marginally more air-time, let’s sit and speculate why…OK that was long enough. More air-time and more of everything else.

Casey James selected a song, that if anyone paid attention, an obvious head nod that it was his last night. Song choice, “OK It’s All Right With Me” by Eric Hutchinson. Kara Dioguardi called it an ‘unknown’ song showing what an idiot to the ninth degree she really is.

Sure, cowboy Casey could have selected a number of other songs that may have been a bit better but then he couldn’t blatantly have let on to the folks at home he realizes his time on the show is over.
Casey James “OK It’s All Right With Me”

Randy and Ellen agreed the song was ‘just all right’ for them. Simon baited Kara (it’s just too easy) into a ridiculously overly serious discussion of song climaxing. But then climaxing and Kara go hand in hand.

Kara and RandytheBoBo picked “Daughters” for Casey, a really terrible song selection, it’s a treacly ballad, one of John Mayer’s most lackluster efforts, but with the masses inability to tell good from bad music, made him a lot of money. Casey gives it the lackluster treatment it deserves. I must add, his voice sounds very good on the song; James can actually carry a tune.

Casey James “Daughters”

Kara and Randy attempted to make their song choice out to be stellar – Simon didn’t agree but he does say, rather quietly at the end of the critique that Casey’s vocals sounded quite good.

Crystal Bowersox selected “Come To My Window” by Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres picked “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney for her. She hauled along her harmonica rig and sporadically played it going for the ‘folk’ singer vibe. I have to hand it to her at least she did not alter the lyrics and kept true to the “Maybe I’m Amazed” song. That said it was not her best night.

I had to take into consideration after watching the theatrics provided Lee, how sparse the settings for Casey and Crystal and cut them a lot of slack. Lee was treated like the second coming of some higher being – goal to inspire the lemmings and peasants to follow the show’s lead and go ga-ga over his out of tune performances. Having the choir come in along with the string section and basically drown him out on “Hallelujah” was a brilliant move. He was out of tune and vocally inept and weak in comparison to anyone else on the history of this show who have sung that song. (Nod to Timmeh.)
Regarding Idol, Jason Castro’s version better than Lee’s.

To go home tonight, after the Idol bus ran over him, Casey James.


Casey James Does CowTown & Richardson

May 15, 2010

Casey James was all over the FOX 4 News yesterday morning and had an entire hour devoted to him. (Of course.) Initially he seemed overwhelmed by the attention, possessing a deer in the headlights look, but as the day progressed he loosened up considerably. His Texas drawl, by the evening was back in full force. I think getting out of the Idol ‘prison’ and back into Texas, even though we were in the midst of a heavy duty monsoon rain, he started to feel more himself. Inclement weather all day yesterday made for indoor activities only. Well, except for the “concert” he put on last night at the Richardson Wildflower Festival. (If you can call three songs a concert.)
Casey James performs at Richardson’s Wildflower Festival

Casey James at Wildflower Festival

Thanks for all the intrepid and stealthy videographers. I never get away with secret filming.


American Idol Top 4: Duets and Mrs. Robinson

May 12, 2010

Movie theme night, yet another theme guaranteed to be quite terrible. From what I understand the hapless contestants had only ten tunes to pick from so we shouldn’t be too very hard on them. I do enjoy the top four spot in which the contestants get to duet with one another. My query is why doesn’t the show do more of that during the season, would be so much more interesting than some of those gawdawful group numbers.

Jamie Foxx once again on the show as a guest mentor and once again I can only ask “why him”? I mean the guy’s last season performance with full on autotune was quite horrible and confirmed he should stick to acting and ‘scripted’ singing… ala his Oscar winning turn as Ray Charles. He came up with at least an original idea with presenting the contestants with tacky t-shirts labeled ‘Contestant’ or ‘Artist’ to ‘grade’ them on their practice session with him.

He does do some decent mentoring but he pales (excuse my terminology) in comparison to Harry Connick, Jr. (Radio rumors this morning have Mr. Connick hot in the running for the Simon Cowell position *crosses fingers*.) I did get the feel that possibly Mr. Foxx was giving it a run toward possibly positioning himself as a contender for that position as well. Seems an easy gig with incredible benefits and great pay, certainly he would make more at that than his record sales.

Lee oddly selects “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal, a tune apparently from “Batman Forever” and immediately wins the “Contestant” shirt or just a plain black tee that reads “I Suck”. His vocals consist of incoherent mumbles (per usual) and he bottoms out the low notes while evading the true melody behind the tune. Way back when I liked that song but since I’ve heard it way too often in the Idol format I’ve grown to truely hate it.

I thought Jamie Foxx’s approach of getting in Lee’s face ala Hokey Gokey last season was, well, so last season.

Harkening back to the greatness that was Harry Connick last week, Kara calls Lee out for his “out of tune” delivery Let’s hope that “pitchy” is dead to us all from this time forward in this show.

Simon relies on the tried and true and muchly used ‘karaoke’ label that has been in full form this season and of course, he’s right. I know it’s an impossibility but Lee should go home, but I’ll try to stick to reality and understand that’s not happening. In this universe at least.

Michael Lynche hilariously chose a song from “Free Willy”, I don’t know about you but the mental image of him standing starkers with his ‘willy’ dangling ‘free’ made me giggle. Lynche pointed out how it’s a Michael Jackson song referring to Egypt or something, not at all to do with his identifying with being a whale…. (I know, I’m on a roll…)

Large Lynche attempts the gospel route, which was also quite odd considering the entire “Willy” thing. Anyway I hope Lynche’s willy is indeed set free tonight but after his pathetic plea that ‘he had a dream from last year to finish top three’ he may stay. Those people in Florida having not to deal with ‘hanging chads’ or such will likely be punching the phone lines. (I can’t help myself.)

First duet of the night had Lee and Crystal singing “Falling Slowly” from Once. They actually sound pretty good, Crystal carrying Lee who actually tries to develop a personality in a few parts of the song. I recall from last year when wee Kris Allen sang it no one even seemed to know what it was and now it’s everyone’s ‘favorite’. bah.

Golden haired boy, Casey James ingeniously (perhaps he does actually have a bright mind) picks “Mrs. Robinson” – that tune from The Graduate by Simon and Garfunkel. I did not buy for one moment Casey was innocent in heading in THAT direction. The song choice might save him. I question his selecting a mandolin for the tune, but at least he did not go with a ukulele although that would have been funnier. Jamie Foxx in his time with Casey was strange, what was that about ‘seducing’ him?

Speaking of seducing, Kara donned her lady suit for the night. I was thinking it perhaps an attempt to at least look more intelligent. Sadly, as soon as she opened her mouth that ploy failed when she turned the attention for Casey’s song choice into being all about her. As usual.
Casey James “Mrs. Robinson”

MommaSox picked Kenny Loggins, “I’m All Right” as in “Caddyshack”, you know that movie about the gopher/rodent running amuck all over the golf course… or something. Of course she was the best of the night but she did pull a hint of Siobhan out of her throat toward the end of the song… Her boyfriend, significant other or whatnot was front and center waving the flag for her, in form of pajama pants. I mean, really it’s just Idol why dress?

Second duet of the night, Fat Mike and Casey James do Brian Adams’ “Have You Ever Loved A Woman”, which to Casey’s credit he played quite well on. I do have a prejudice against Brian Adams, I will admit. Another thing I noticed, Fat Mike WEARS his guitar. The guy occasionally strums a note here and there but I really hate posers who don a guitar like you’d wear any sort of accessory. They weren’t too bad though, overall.

I hold out hope that Big Mike will end his Idol journey tonight, that Casey progresses into Top Three. (Mike will likely pull a Jason Castro and get his homecoming anyway, don’t ‘boo’ me here, people.) It would make it all worthwhile to see somehow, someway Casey knocks that blubbery smile off Lee’s mug and beats him into the Top Two. We already know who’s winning this thing. Holding on to the thought that we’re almost done for the year.

Oh, by the way, ‘sources’ say that the successor to Cowell will be announced very soon. (Chant to yourselves, “Harry Connick” “Harry Connick”, make it a mantra.)


American Idol Top Five: Goat for the Worst

May 7, 2010

I’ve been so wrapped up in Life-Outside-the-Internet I forgot to hit “publish” over ‘here’ yesterday. THAT’s just how excited I am this year over American Idol.

One bright beam of celebrity light on Idol – Harry Connick, Jr. . Who knew Harry possessed such a fantastic, snarky sense of humor and that he very likely reads our very own, Vote for the Worst site? Exactly, a complete surprise to me but a quite cool one, cool at least compared to the past weeks of Shania Train/Twain and other ‘mentors’ who did not even spend much time with the struggling cast of Karaoke Hell. (Exclude Miley Cyrus, I must admit she wasn’t bad and did bring out some VFTW quality performances.)

Now that I’ve admitted Harry Connick is a new “hero” of mine; he bravely defined what many people have thought about the overused word, “pitchy” that has become a standard faux paux on the show by explaining it’s not really a musical definition. (It’s more correct to say someone is ‘out of tune’.) I am a sucker for a humourous guy and Harry was funny as well as entertaining.

Possible evidence he’s read the VFTW reviews, Mr. Connick Jr., in his sexy New Orleans drawl said my darling Casey sang like a goat, told wee Aaron, “Let’s get serious, wipe that stupid smirk off your face.” Of course, while smiling because you know you can say anthing to someone if you do it with a smile… I just wish he’d called Michael Lynche ‘Fat Mike’ but I can’t have everything.

For some odd reason, I began to wonder if Harry was perhaps considering taking on the Simon Cowell role – and what a spectacularly fantastic thing that would be. I could listen to his sugar sweet drawl and look at his lovely face, weekly during the season! Importantly, he’s damn straight not going to select any of the potential contestants for any sort of political or casting set up. He’d go for the actual talent, if there is any really out there, to put out on our televison screens.

Harry Connick, Jr. gave me some needed juice to continue to watch the show. I started out channel flipping but once I realized how interesting he was making it, I stayed tuned.

I must say I’m very pleased VFTW is backing Casey James and here’s to hoping he can outlast that rotund gob of cheese that is Michael Lynche and – if there is a miracle out there, kick The Chosen One – Lee DeBoringWyze out of the running. Crystal can stay, what the Hell, I rather like her Janis Joplin impressions.
“Blue Skies” Casey James

…nothing but blue skaaaaaaas from now on……..baaaa. Oh and remember, from now on it’s Goat For The Worst.


American Idol Top 6: How We Missed Tim Urban

April 28, 2010

The show began with my darling daughter lamenting, “It’s not going to be the same without Timmeh…”. She was right it wasn’t the same but then again it wasn’t any different except Tim Urban is now ‘come back home’ to Texas.

Pulling up caboose role last night, in the Shania Twain (Train) (play on words) night that Ellen Degeneres thought so funny was Lee Dewyze. The guy sang a completely toneless, tuneless and gravelly version of this Shania song; I could not even figure out what the Hell it was until looked it up. Google is my friend. I guess that’s called ‘making it your own’ and his own is NOT the One.
Lee Dewyze sings “You’re the One”

Michael Lynche picked “It Only Hurts when I’m Breathing” and it only hurt when I sat and watched him sing this. Lynche gave an effeminate, greasy-cheese performance complete with stupid facial contortions and over the top melisma served with a side of terrible. Ellen said he was like Luther Van Dross. That must be one of her funnier lines this season. He too makes this song ‘his own’; an unrecognizable, girly wailing fashitto waste of stage.

Casey James sang, “Don’t”, in his words to “show the side of me I haven’t really showed.” He looked gorgeous, but I was hoping for his showing how to sing Shania without a shirt, but THAT wasn’t the side of him he was talking about. We’re getting the entire Casey/Shania performance moment because well, it is my blog.

Now that is a beautiful man. TheDman keeps saying this guy will win it all, but I think (since he doesn’t really watch this show much) he’s pacifying me for bonus points because I think the guy’s a yummy mess.
The judges loved him, dubbed it The Best Casey James Performance Evah! Simon told him he must kiss Shania and I called it shenanigans. Why did Simon wear his Venom (Spiderman reference) shirt last night?
Crystal Bowersox delivered an authentically country sounding, “No One Needs to Know”, and the judge panel decides, you know, to mix it up, to toss her under the bus. Oh the suspense… will she still be safe (big undertone of sarcasm)? She continues that “Magic Carpet Ride” theme with a new rug and gives a drinking-a- cold-Lone-Star moment.
Crystal Bowersox, “No One Needs to Know”

Aaron Kelly gives the show what he does every week, every thing he does sounds the same. “You’ve Got a Way” though finally made me recall who he reminds me of… a young K D Lange. Why haven’t I noticed this before?
Aaron Kelly “You’ve Got a Way”

Siobhan Magnus was The Scream Train that drove the show last night with her dancing, prancey version of “Any Man of Mine”. Simon Cowell was so knocked out he deemed it sounded like she was ‘giving birth’ on stage. Birth to a new VFTW campaign. Siobhan did not disappoint last night.
Siobhan Magnus “Any Man of Mine”

Yee Haw.

Dial Idol has Michael Lynche and Lee in the bottom two, but then again wee Aaron is at number one. I am pulling for either of them to go home. Or Aaron.


American Idol: Lennon & McCartney

April 6, 2010

Scrabbling this out on the fly tonight as manana I’ve got an early plane to catch… There is no mentor tonight but Paul McCartney gives a recorded pep talk. It’s lame and I’m completely disappointed in Sir Paul… is he getting old age addled?

Aaron, apparently has some sort of Yoda thing going on that the rest of us at home don’t understand.

He sings “A Long and Winding Road” without changing the tune up at all and quite sincerely, while of course, adding his country twang. He holds a nice long note at the end.
RandytheBoBo says, hooooh here we go; beautiful tone. Sleepy tune, not changed up. He wanted Aaron does Rascal Flatts does the Beatles.
Ellen, blah, blah.
Kara said but for what you’re trying to do, you have to be great. She wants him to move… of course. Poor kid likely has no moves.
Aaron keeps forgetting to use his mike to talk.
Aaron said he stuck to the arrangement because he did not want to alter a great song.

Simon thought it was too old for Aaron said something about Aaron should havea ‘done some research’ (what?).

Imbecile Kara wanted the cha cha version it seemed as she danced it in her seat saying, ‘tempo, tempo’. Idiot.

I thought wee Aaron did a decent yet boring job. The show obviously wants him gone.

These judges make absolutely no sense. I mean this song changed up? No, I don’t think so. Idiots.

Katie Stevens is next, wearing an “I Dream of Jeannie” hairdo. Apparently she wants her prospective dates to show their love by their phone bills. Way to whore out at the tender age of 17, gal. It seems Katie can dance. Woo hoo.

Siobhan’s comments for the other contestants continue to aide her seemingly shy a few crayons in the box of sixteen.

Katie sung “Let It Be” sung exactly like the original version while staring meaningfully(lessly) into the camera. Completely motionless. Of course she stands motionless, I mean right after the viewers were treated to the other contestant’s telling that ‘interesting’ fact that she can dance.
RandytheBoBo Best vocals ever. (Of course since Katie does not change it up at all it’s brilliant.)
Ellen said she changed it up enough… no way to be there (B3) this week.
Kara told her she’s blossoming twice. Like a flower. (Or… ragweed. )
Simon said when in B3 consistently, something wrong. Tonight you got it right. He calls her version ‘country’.

Simon and Kara verbally spar; he tells her she’s out of tune while she screeches the lyrics of “Let It Be”. She was. I did love Simon’s look of utter disdain looking at Kara.

I wasn’t enthralled with Katie.

Andrew Garcia is apparently BFF with Lee. He still wears his Wayne Newton pompadour. He sings “Can’t Buy Me Love” bringing the acoustic guitar along for the strumming. He’s going for energetic but I’m not digging it.
RandytheBoBo corny, pop, all in all okay.
Ellen, first of all you can buy love. Perfect song choice. I loved it.
Kara, I wanna love it I do but I just don’t know if you did anything new.
Her sequined tank top is almost blinding me. Talk about Sparkle Cow.
Simon, goes the Wedding Singer comparison, band overwhelming him and arrangement old-fashioned and irrelevant.

Michael Lynche is compared to the Incredible Hulk by Katie. Casey complains about his snoring. Mike has some sort of odd Ninja screech when greeting people. Gah.

He choses “Eleanor Rigby” then alters it giving it a different beat, soulful treatment. Even TheD likes him. His use of strings and the composition works. His vocals sound quite good.
RandytheBoBo: the parts that worked is great but not all of it worked.

(I say “what”?)

Ellen, you can do anything, you handle everything well. I thought it was incredible, I loved it.
Kara, I thought that was fire.

(TheD is hating her so much said the judging totally detracting from the bit of talent on this year.)

Simon, I did not love it as much as the other three. Musical performance, I don’t think it made you contemporary at all. Backwards step.

(Translation… we need not keep obviously frothing over Big Mike.)

Crystal Bowersox, nicknamed MamaSox because she’s a mom and a nurturing type of individual, according to the others. She’s sick again, seems the Idol camp constantly coming down with something. Crystal selects, “Come Together”, changes it up giving it her best Janis Joplin treatment. A guy with some sort of Australian tuba, a digerydu/digerydoo (?) accompanies her, which is interesting by itself. She gets the nice orange glow light treatment.

The crowd goes wild, RandytheBoBo said not her best but was good.
Ellen, how do you improve on a L and M song? (Meanwhile with Aaron they were at him for not changing a L and M song.)
Kara said she was like a slinky…
Simon, that’s a song, performance I could hear on the radio. It just worked. Being true to yourself.

Crystal hugs Ernie the digerydoo player endearing herself to the masses.

VFTW star, Tim Urban. It seems he really is always smiling. Tim totally hams it up making the folks at VFTW proud, I’d think. He pulls out his electric guitar, playing a ES335. Delivered like Disney boy, Zack Efron would and not completely horrible.
RandytheBoBo Yo Tim, Tim, Tim you’re in your own category. So rating it as a “Tim” performance. Good Tim Performance.
Ellen, second best after “Halleluiah” Paul McCartney look going on and all the girls love you.
Kara, have guitar and feels true. You’re to be commended.
Apparently the media heat affecting the judges.
Simon, I thought you did really well with that song. Sounds very current. Take the criticism like a man.

So are they somehow thinking about kicking Timmeh to the curb? We shall see.
Vote for Timmeh, 1-866-436-5706

Casey James is our playboy. He’s so handsome, they’ve come up with names for him for the ladies, Fabio one of them. Casey has a big laugh that some have referred to him as “Goldilockes”. He does the tune, “Jealous Guy” dressed like John Travolta. Accompanied with acoustic guitar and cello. Decent. In full goat vibratto. Hello Eddie Vedder. He imparts some soul into the song….

I really, really loved it.

RandytheBoBo, I love it, I love it. (He wants to birth his baby.)
Ellen, felt like you were singing it to someone. Best performance to date.
Kara I saw a vulnerability, depth and range. I think you can do more, still. (She’s creaming herself, I think I saw drool.)
Simon, Goldilockes? Best of the night so far. Emotional, very, very impressed with you tonight.

I love him.

Siobhan Magnus the others talk about her weirdness. No big new news. “Across the Universe” in a Fairy Princess outfit. New wig. Floofy. Smiling through the song. Like a musical, where are the dancing children? She gets cool speckled light treatment. Very reined in performance.
RandytheBobo said, I wonder every week – no one screams artist more than you. Tender side. Falsetto high note. A little sleepy. I love your artistry in you.
Ellen, big fan of those who march to beat of different drum. I loved it.
Kara, purely singing, you hit the notes, knew where you are going. She thought it was too slow.
(She knows nothing about artistry.)
Simon, what were you connecting to in that song? I think if someone heard you the first time be confused.

Siobhan said it was the lyrics, her baby sisters, nothing will change. Tears were brilliant.

Then the audience heckler (Earl loves her) gets a moment. Quite random. And a stalker is born…

Lee Dewyze and Andrew GokeyGarcia apparently have a love match going on. Lee does “Hey Jude” in the vein of Dave Matthews or John Meyer only not nearly as good. Our lead singer in our little cover band is better than Lee. I think it’s boring. TheDman called it ‘anticlimatic’ after Siobhan. My kid sitting next to me said, the best thing is the bag pipe guy. I agreed.
RandytheBoBo said, (I dunno, he was a puddle of babble.)
Ellen, confidence – even when that guy got separated from his parade. ( finally E makes a funny )
Kara it’s hot.
(I hate her.)
Simon, I don’t know what you guys are drinking in the house…. instrumentations; it was like he turned up on the wrong show…

(And it did not work.)

Summation, I think the show wants Aaron out… he should be the one to leave this week. Bottom three, Aaron, Tim and Andrew…

That said, my faves of the night, Teflon Timmeh and gorgeous Casey James. Yep.


American Idol Holds On: Week Ten

March 31, 2010

American Idol top ten performed last night, only nine more weeks until the finale of this not so fabulous season nine. Usher was the mentor for R&B week and he did a good job. Naturally he has an album about to be released, there is always a reason for the mentors’ appearance during the season.

Seacrest goofs about Usher’s constant use of sunglasses in the opening which was slightly entertaining. What is it with the wearing of sunglasses so many celebrities do at inappropriate times making them look ridiculous?

Siobhan Magnus’ lisp came out when she met Usher. Apparently she really was ‘wicked nervous’. Usher was kind to her and remarked she has a ‘true shot’ for becoming an incredible artist. I am not sure what thought processes she underwent in regard to her clothing ensemble but it was as disjointed and odd as her vocal performance. It looked like she was wearing a corset with mummy wrappings with some odd laced up boots. She was quite terrible last night, fell off pitch constantly resorting to overdoing her becoming cliche’ scream singing. To say she was difficult to listen to is an understatement.
Siobhan Magnus, “Through the Fire”

The judges all confirm they think she’s got the vocal capability but she was completely off the mark. Simon deemed she ‘killed it’ but meant it as more of a roadkill type of definition.

Casey James was up next, performing “Hold On, I’m Coming” the Sam & Dave & Blues Brothers hit. Again he used his electric guitar which, considering he’s quite good on it, I can’t fault. The fact I’ve a soft spot for guitar players, a given. He looked absolutely gorgeous and I adore his smile and upbeat vibe. I do think he’d benefit by not constantly smiling through each song.

Vocally, Casey sounded very good but, that said, he sticks to the same formula each week. Eventually he’s needing to come out with something brilliant and wild. If, and I mean IF he does that he’ll secure a top spot on the finale. At this point I could see him as making it to number five, if he comes out wildman, easily number three. Rewatching his performance this morning I am smitten with how very physically attractive this guy really is, pardon my fangurl.
Casey James, “Hold on I’m Coming”

RandytheBoBo loved him, Ellen thought he’s being generic, Kara wants him to show it all (I bet she does) and Simon actually liked him. I know I enjoyed him, how can you not?

You can’t actually fault Casey James for doing the same type of performance every week then praise Big Mike Lynche for doing the very same thing. Lynche performed “Ready for Love” a tune by India.Arie
Michael Lynche “Ready for Love”

The back lighting behind his head was odd and almost scary with his ears glowing red. I have to say too, I absolutely hate it when a performer has a guitar and uses it as a prop rather than actually play it. So why have it on? Presentation… for that I call fraud. It’s why you don’t see the instrument much during the performance because the guy’s not playing it.

Randy says he likes the guitar – placing TheBoBo crown back firmly on his head. Kara did not even know the song displaying her true lack of current musicality, Simon claims he can now take him seriously as an artist. Perhaps the wearing of the guitar as a prop was a good ploy afterall. Me, as you might note, I’m just not a big Big Mike fan.

Didi Benami has a meltdown in practice with Usher. She selected “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” and made herself cry. I think it’s a combination of singing in front of Usher and the fact she’s a bit of a nut. He advises her to basically cry during the song, but instead Didi made everyone listening to her want to cry instead.
Didi Benami “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted”

I think she’s going to be looking for someone to care enough to keep voting for her to stay on the show. Randy thinks she flatlined, Ellen said she loved her (we know) but ‘boo’ed’ herself a sure sign she hated it too, Kara said Didi overdid it and now has changed and sucks, Simon said listening to her was like swimming in jelly… Score one for Simon, unique descriptor of the night. He proceeds on a tangent to knock down other reality shows in the process of critiquing as well, so give him props in setting up his upcoming “X-Factor” show coming soon to American television.

Teflon Tim Urban was confronted by Ryan Seacrest with his new moniker, “Teflon Tim”, and handled it quite well. He’s also showing some spunk and a decent sense of humor. My fondness for Timmeh has grown tremendously after watching this performance. Tim’s meeting with Usher and his reaction to advice was entertaining and quite funny. Urban selected “Sweet Love” by Anita Baker and made it into a performance worthy of something you’d hear and see delivered by a young David Cassidy. I think Tim’s being misunderstood, considering his 1970’s hair, he’s just trapped in the 2000’s, a true child of a bygone era of teen idols past and the early days of Tiger Beat. One thing that can be said about Teflon Tim’s performance, he did remain in tune for most of the song.
Tim Urban “Sweet Love”

I give Tim props for getting RandytheBobo to sing, Ellen acknowledges that she reads VFTW referring to the drinking games. Kara was pathetically overly emotional, ranting and wavy her arms about; Tim laughed at her and I would have too. Simon gives Teflon Tim the nod for the fact that he’s still on the show and may continue to be on the show for quite some time. Tim’s laughing with Ryan about having his smile lambasted made me love him more, talk about smiling in the face of adversity. May the Teflon be with you Tim.

Andrew Garcia gets a big fail right off the bat selecting girlfriend beater, Chris Brown’s “Forever”. The song has a focus on being on a dance floor and what does Garcia do? Sits on a stool and acousti-fies the tune. The show apparently wants to help him out as he gets box bongo, string instruments, etc. Everything about this guy bugs me. His Wayne Newton pompadour, his same singing voice in every song, his huge goggles. I give him a small amount of credit for his voice not being horrible but he can only sing in one style, one way. He’s a one trick pony.
Andrew Garcia “Forever”

RandytheBoBo loved everything, said Andrew was ‘dope’. I mainly think Andrew is a dope. Ellen and Kara, blah blah blah, something was said about ‘walking on the moon’… (what?) Simon called him boring. Andrew’s Mami rushes the stage wearing a zebra yattering in Spanish this staged as an attempt to display something of interest about Andrew.

Katie Stevens displaying even more evidence of a complete lack of knowing what she’s about selects the Aretha Franklin song, “Chain of Fools”; foolish choice on several levels. First, this song has been done a billion times on this show, second, it’s just a bad fit for her, third she looks a bit awkward in performance. Add to this her ensemble was completely horrible. Let me add, I was so uninterested I kept forgetting she was singing.
Snookie Poof Katie Stevens, “Chain of Fools”

Kara keeps pushing her to be an R&B singer, Randy likens her to Christina Aguilera, (what?) Ellen and Simon think it sounded old. Simon also nails another reality show and calls her performance “Star Search”.

Lee Lon Chaney Dewyze is at his attempted most sincere best with rocking out, ala watered down Nickelback with “Treat Her Like a Lady” a tune by Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose. Granted Lee’s voice is decent but the guy has the sparkle and shine on stage of a scuffed linoleum floor. The David Archuleta ‘Members Only’ jackets need to go, really. He continues to remind me of Lon Chaney in “The Wolfman”. Seems Lee’s got ‘walking pneumonia’. Does no one clean the American Idol quarters? Everyone’s been drastically sick in turns this season.

Everyone loved Lon, I mean, Lee.

Crystal Bowersox left behind her guitar and hippie chick wear and sat piano wearing one of Mariah Carey’s outfits. She sang “Midnight Train to Georgia” tottered about awkwardly in stillettos and basically keeps on winning this show.

What did the judges say? Take a guess. She gives a shout out to Gladys Knight so let’s see when it comes down to finals if she is not paired up during the sing with a real celebrity episode.

Teeny tiny Aaron Kelly misguidedly selected “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers, a song used last season by Kris Allen last season to win the show. He has a complete lack of stage presence. Interestingly out of all the contestants, most have about 5 to 6 vids up on the Youtube. Only found one of Aaron…

RandytheBobo thought it awight with him, Ellen said she thought he was eleven, Kara was vapid, Simon compared him to Lee and called him a cupcake. Indeed.

So, overall I think we may see any of these contestants in the bottom three, Didi Benami, Teflon Tim, Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, and as a potential surprise, Siobhan with her tragically terrible performance.

Who I think should go home, Andrew Garcia but then I don’t always get what I want. After Teflon Tim’s brave performance I do hope he remains to sing another week. Slide, Timmeh, slide…