American Idol Top Three: Hallelujah It’s Almost Over

May 19, 2010

I think I lost 37,000,000 brain cells last night watching that now oh-so-obviously scripted piece of karaoke television called American Idol.

Last weekend was the top three Idols’ homecomings and our local FOX news, even through what seemed to be a monsoon rain, covered Casey James as heavily as the rain pouring down. (that was too easy) Interestingly and tellingly, outside of the obligatory AT&T store front sponsorship, the show ran no footage of the homecoming festivities. You know, it might have swayed the at-home viewers into voting differently from the direction the show wanted to steer the herd. Captain Obvious, Lee Dewyze, did get marginally more air-time, let’s sit and speculate why…OK that was long enough. More air-time and more of everything else.

Casey James selected a song, that if anyone paid attention, an obvious head nod that it was his last night. Song choice, “OK It’s All Right With Me” by Eric Hutchinson. Kara Dioguardi called it an ‘unknown’ song showing what an idiot to the ninth degree she really is.

Sure, cowboy Casey could have selected a number of other songs that may have been a bit better but then he couldn’t blatantly have let on to the folks at home he realizes his time on the show is over.
Casey James “OK It’s All Right With Me”

Randy and Ellen agreed the song was ‘just all right’ for them. Simon baited Kara (it’s just too easy) into a ridiculously overly serious discussion of song climaxing. But then climaxing and Kara go hand in hand.

Kara and RandytheBoBo picked “Daughters” for Casey, a really terrible song selection, it’s a treacly ballad, one of John Mayer’s most lackluster efforts, but with the masses inability to tell good from bad music, made him a lot of money. Casey gives it the lackluster treatment it deserves. I must add, his voice sounds very good on the song; James can actually carry a tune.

Casey James “Daughters”

Kara and Randy attempted to make their song choice out to be stellar – Simon didn’t agree but he does say, rather quietly at the end of the critique that Casey’s vocals sounded quite good.

Crystal Bowersox selected “Come To My Window” by Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres picked “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney for her. She hauled along her harmonica rig and sporadically played it going for the ‘folk’ singer vibe. I have to hand it to her at least she did not alter the lyrics and kept true to the “Maybe I’m Amazed” song. That said it was not her best night.

I had to take into consideration after watching the theatrics provided Lee, how sparse the settings for Casey and Crystal and cut them a lot of slack. Lee was treated like the second coming of some higher being – goal to inspire the lemmings and peasants to follow the show’s lead and go ga-ga over his out of tune performances. Having the choir come in along with the string section and basically drown him out on “Hallelujah” was a brilliant move. He was out of tune and vocally inept and weak in comparison to anyone else on the history of this show who have sung that song. (Nod to Timmeh.)
Regarding Idol, Jason Castro’s version better than Lee’s.

To go home tonight, after the Idol bus ran over him, Casey James.


Casey James Does CowTown & Richardson

May 15, 2010

Casey James was all over the FOX 4 News yesterday morning and had an entire hour devoted to him. (Of course.) Initially he seemed overwhelmed by the attention, possessing a deer in the headlights look, but as the day progressed he loosened up considerably. His Texas drawl, by the evening was back in full force. I think getting out of the Idol ‘prison’ and back into Texas, even though we were in the midst of a heavy duty monsoon rain, he started to feel more himself. Inclement weather all day yesterday made for indoor activities only. Well, except for the “concert” he put on last night at the Richardson Wildflower Festival. (If you can call three songs a concert.)
Casey James performs at Richardson’s Wildflower Festival

Casey James at Wildflower Festival

Thanks for all the intrepid and stealthy videographers. I never get away with secret filming.


American Idol Top 4: Duets and Mrs. Robinson

May 12, 2010

Movie theme night, yet another theme guaranteed to be quite terrible. From what I understand the hapless contestants had only ten tunes to pick from so we shouldn’t be too very hard on them. I do enjoy the top four spot in which the contestants get to duet with one another. My query is why doesn’t the show do more of that during the season, would be so much more interesting than some of those gawdawful group numbers.

Jamie Foxx once again on the show as a guest mentor and once again I can only ask “why him”? I mean the guy’s last season performance with full on autotune was quite horrible and confirmed he should stick to acting and ‘scripted’ singing… ala his Oscar winning turn as Ray Charles. He came up with at least an original idea with presenting the contestants with tacky t-shirts labeled ‘Contestant’ or ‘Artist’ to ‘grade’ them on their practice session with him.

He does do some decent mentoring but he pales (excuse my terminology) in comparison to Harry Connick, Jr. (Radio rumors this morning have Mr. Connick hot in the running for the Simon Cowell position *crosses fingers*.) I did get the feel that possibly Mr. Foxx was giving it a run toward possibly positioning himself as a contender for that position as well. Seems an easy gig with incredible benefits and great pay, certainly he would make more at that than his record sales.

Lee oddly selects “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal, a tune apparently from “Batman Forever” and immediately wins the “Contestant” shirt or just a plain black tee that reads “I Suck”. His vocals consist of incoherent mumbles (per usual) and he bottoms out the low notes while evading the true melody behind the tune. Way back when I liked that song but since I’ve heard it way too often in the Idol format I’ve grown to truely hate it.

I thought Jamie Foxx’s approach of getting in Lee’s face ala Hokey Gokey last season was, well, so last season.

Harkening back to the greatness that was Harry Connick last week, Kara calls Lee out for his “out of tune” delivery Let’s hope that “pitchy” is dead to us all from this time forward in this show.

Simon relies on the tried and true and muchly used ‘karaoke’ label that has been in full form this season and of course, he’s right. I know it’s an impossibility but Lee should go home, but I’ll try to stick to reality and understand that’s not happening. In this universe at least.

Michael Lynche hilariously chose a song from “Free Willy”, I don’t know about you but the mental image of him standing starkers with his ‘willy’ dangling ‘free’ made me giggle. Lynche pointed out how it’s a Michael Jackson song referring to Egypt or something, not at all to do with his identifying with being a whale…. (I know, I’m on a roll…)

Large Lynche attempts the gospel route, which was also quite odd considering the entire “Willy” thing. Anyway I hope Lynche’s willy is indeed set free tonight but after his pathetic plea that ‘he had a dream from last year to finish top three’ he may stay. Those people in Florida having not to deal with ‘hanging chads’ or such will likely be punching the phone lines. (I can’t help myself.)

First duet of the night had Lee and Crystal singing “Falling Slowly” from Once. They actually sound pretty good, Crystal carrying Lee who actually tries to develop a personality in a few parts of the song. I recall from last year when wee Kris Allen sang it no one even seemed to know what it was and now it’s everyone’s ‘favorite’. bah.

Golden haired boy, Casey James ingeniously (perhaps he does actually have a bright mind) picks “Mrs. Robinson” – that tune from The Graduate by Simon and Garfunkel. I did not buy for one moment Casey was innocent in heading in THAT direction. The song choice might save him. I question his selecting a mandolin for the tune, but at least he did not go with a ukulele although that would have been funnier. Jamie Foxx in his time with Casey was strange, what was that about ‘seducing’ him?

Speaking of seducing, Kara donned her lady suit for the night. I was thinking it perhaps an attempt to at least look more intelligent. Sadly, as soon as she opened her mouth that ploy failed when she turned the attention for Casey’s song choice into being all about her. As usual.
Casey James “Mrs. Robinson”

MommaSox picked Kenny Loggins, “I’m All Right” as in “Caddyshack”, you know that movie about the gopher/rodent running amuck all over the golf course… or something. Of course she was the best of the night but she did pull a hint of Siobhan out of her throat toward the end of the song… Her boyfriend, significant other or whatnot was front and center waving the flag for her, in form of pajama pants. I mean, really it’s just Idol why dress?

Second duet of the night, Fat Mike and Casey James do Brian Adams’ “Have You Ever Loved A Woman”, which to Casey’s credit he played quite well on. I do have a prejudice against Brian Adams, I will admit. Another thing I noticed, Fat Mike WEARS his guitar. The guy occasionally strums a note here and there but I really hate posers who don a guitar like you’d wear any sort of accessory. They weren’t too bad though, overall.

I hold out hope that Big Mike will end his Idol journey tonight, that Casey progresses into Top Three. (Mike will likely pull a Jason Castro and get his homecoming anyway, don’t ‘boo’ me here, people.) It would make it all worthwhile to see somehow, someway Casey knocks that blubbery smile off Lee’s mug and beats him into the Top Two. We already know who’s winning this thing. Holding on to the thought that we’re almost done for the year.

Oh, by the way, ‘sources’ say that the successor to Cowell will be announced very soon. (Chant to yourselves, “Harry Connick” “Harry Connick”, make it a mantra.)


American Idol Top Five: Goat for the Worst

May 7, 2010

I’ve been so wrapped up in Life-Outside-the-Internet I forgot to hit “publish” over ‘here’ yesterday. THAT’s just how excited I am this year over American Idol.

One bright beam of celebrity light on Idol – Harry Connick, Jr. . Who knew Harry possessed such a fantastic, snarky sense of humor and that he very likely reads our very own, Vote for the Worst site? Exactly, a complete surprise to me but a quite cool one, cool at least compared to the past weeks of Shania Train/Twain and other ‘mentors’ who did not even spend much time with the struggling cast of Karaoke Hell. (Exclude Miley Cyrus, I must admit she wasn’t bad and did bring out some VFTW quality performances.)

Now that I’ve admitted Harry Connick is a new “hero” of mine; he bravely defined what many people have thought about the overused word, “pitchy” that has become a standard faux paux on the show by explaining it’s not really a musical definition. (It’s more correct to say someone is ‘out of tune’.) I am a sucker for a humourous guy and Harry was funny as well as entertaining.

Possible evidence he’s read the VFTW reviews, Mr. Connick Jr., in his sexy New Orleans drawl said my darling Casey sang like a goat, told wee Aaron, “Let’s get serious, wipe that stupid smirk off your face.” Of course, while smiling because you know you can say anthing to someone if you do it with a smile… I just wish he’d called Michael Lynche ‘Fat Mike’ but I can’t have everything.

For some odd reason, I began to wonder if Harry was perhaps considering taking on the Simon Cowell role – and what a spectacularly fantastic thing that would be. I could listen to his sugar sweet drawl and look at his lovely face, weekly during the season! Importantly, he’s damn straight not going to select any of the potential contestants for any sort of political or casting set up. He’d go for the actual talent, if there is any really out there, to put out on our televison screens.

Harry Connick, Jr. gave me some needed juice to continue to watch the show. I started out channel flipping but once I realized how interesting he was making it, I stayed tuned.

I must say I’m very pleased VFTW is backing Casey James and here’s to hoping he can outlast that rotund gob of cheese that is Michael Lynche and – if there is a miracle out there, kick The Chosen One – Lee DeBoringWyze out of the running. Crystal can stay, what the Hell, I rather like her Janis Joplin impressions.
“Blue Skies” Casey James

…nothing but blue skaaaaaaas from now on……..baaaa. Oh and remember, from now on it’s Goat For The Worst.


American Idol Top 6: How We Missed Tim Urban

April 28, 2010

The show began with my darling daughter lamenting, “It’s not going to be the same without Timmeh…”. She was right it wasn’t the same but then again it wasn’t any different except Tim Urban is now ‘come back home’ to Texas.

Pulling up caboose role last night, in the Shania Twain (Train) (play on words) night that Ellen Degeneres thought so funny was Lee Dewyze. The guy sang a completely toneless, tuneless and gravelly version of this Shania song; I could not even figure out what the Hell it was until looked it up. Google is my friend. I guess that’s called ‘making it your own’ and his own is NOT the One.
Lee Dewyze sings “You’re the One”

Michael Lynche picked “It Only Hurts when I’m Breathing” and it only hurt when I sat and watched him sing this. Lynche gave an effeminate, greasy-cheese performance complete with stupid facial contortions and over the top melisma served with a side of terrible. Ellen said he was like Luther Van Dross. That must be one of her funnier lines this season. He too makes this song ‘his own’; an unrecognizable, girly wailing fashitto waste of stage.

Casey James sang, “Don’t”, in his words to “show the side of me I haven’t really showed.” He looked gorgeous, but I was hoping for his showing how to sing Shania without a shirt, but THAT wasn’t the side of him he was talking about. We’re getting the entire Casey/Shania performance moment because well, it is my blog.

Now that is a beautiful man. TheDman keeps saying this guy will win it all, but I think (since he doesn’t really watch this show much) he’s pacifying me for bonus points because I think the guy’s a yummy mess.
The judges loved him, dubbed it The Best Casey James Performance Evah! Simon told him he must kiss Shania and I called it shenanigans. Why did Simon wear his Venom (Spiderman reference) shirt last night?
Crystal Bowersox delivered an authentically country sounding, “No One Needs to Know”, and the judge panel decides, you know, to mix it up, to toss her under the bus. Oh the suspense… will she still be safe (big undertone of sarcasm)? She continues that “Magic Carpet Ride” theme with a new rug and gives a drinking-a- cold-Lone-Star moment.
Crystal Bowersox, “No One Needs to Know”

Aaron Kelly gives the show what he does every week, every thing he does sounds the same. “You’ve Got a Way” though finally made me recall who he reminds me of… a young K D Lange. Why haven’t I noticed this before?
Aaron Kelly “You’ve Got a Way”

Siobhan Magnus was The Scream Train that drove the show last night with her dancing, prancey version of “Any Man of Mine”. Simon Cowell was so knocked out he deemed it sounded like she was ‘giving birth’ on stage. Birth to a new VFTW campaign. Siobhan did not disappoint last night.
Siobhan Magnus “Any Man of Mine”

Yee Haw.

Dial Idol has Michael Lynche and Lee in the bottom two, but then again wee Aaron is at number one. I am pulling for either of them to go home. Or Aaron.


The Karaoke Horror Picture Show?

April 24, 2010

(c/o Myndrunner from VFTW)
Vote for the Worst has a new pick for the honor of being chosen for The Worst. It’s sad that Tim Urban’s now gone, but time to move forward, he’s so last Tuesday anyway. Seems the guy professes no love for the VFTW site anyway, so no love lost on either side.

Now the “notorious” VFTW site is focusing is on Siobhan Magnus, whom, almost presciently, many of us on the site found to be really a near perfect choice, way back in February.

The timing on this seems about right. Entering into the Top Six and with Crystal seemingly all ready crowned The Winner, Lee Dewyze and his boring Dave Matthews impersonations the potentially second place finisher, Casey James with his electric guitar playing, vocals a cross between Huey Lewis and Eddie Veddar and that Jessica Simpson hair possibly taking him to third place. I can’t imagine who or what is voting for teeny weeny Aaron Kelly – perhaps he has a very large familial following.

Big Mike Lynche is currently coming under scrutiny for his alledgedly using his time on this reality karaoke show to draw in ridiculous groupies and cheating on his wife. A caller into the Kiss 106.1 FM radio show wrote,

“I live in Dallas and just heard a caller on KISS FM 106.1 who said she is friends with the contestant rooming with Big Mike. Her friend, got to assume Timmy or Casey, Alex or Todrick since she’s a DFW caller, told her that Big Mike isn’t the family man he touts himself that he constantly brought back groupie chicks to his room. His roommate claims it’s distracting and hard to focus because of Big Mike and his cheating ways.”

Granted this is just ‘heresay’ but where there’s smoke… Big Mike certainly gives out that ‘I’m so full of myself’ sort of vibe. Touting himself as a personal body builder/trainer in the beginning of this season is also proving to be ridiculous – weekly the guy’s girth spills more and more over the top of his pants and his ass increasingly eclipses the Idol stools.

I’ve not liked him since the beginning when he remained at the show while his wife labored and gave birth to their baby alone and continued to milk the child mentions at every opportunity for the sympathy factor for votes.

That leaves us with Siobhan Magnus – from the initial auditions I saw her Worster worth and she’s at the very least unique and interesting. She showed tremendous entertainment potential in the early weeks, but has badly stumbled and fumbled the past several weeks in song selection and stylings of the tunes.

With The Vote for the Worst site backing her I could see her blowing Blow-Hard Mike and Wee Aaron out of the water in the next two weeks. Even Casey, if he doesn’t step up his game just a bit and become less predictable, could get knocked out. James needs another “Jealous Guy” or he’s Dead Contestant Walking soon too, perhaps even before Teeny Aaron or Fat-Roll Mike.

Here’s to enjoying the last several weeks of this show and hoping Siobhan brings the Rocky Horror back soon.
So much potential those early days…

It’s astounding, time is fleeting Madness takes its toll, But listen closely, not for very much longer…


American Idol – Top Seven

April 21, 2010

Alicia Keys is the guest mentor on American Idol this week. Regarding mentoring, for the most part she simply pointed out the obvious regarding song delivery and looked lovely. Apparently she’s been a big proponent for solving Africa’s HIV issues too, per the show promotion. Theme of the week, “Songs of Inspiration”, naturally, since this is that “Idol Gives Back” week.

Casey James looked gorgeous. I had to relisten to his song as I was initially focused on looking AT him. That said, he did the song sort of like Huey Lewis and The News does Fleetwood Mac. I keep hoping for something crazy but James may not have it in him. He did have his Cougarific fan club in attendance waving their bedazzled and glittery signs.
“Don’t Stop” Casey James

Randy pointed out Casey sounds the same way week after week.
Ellen was not giving the kind love this week, told him he was not great and no one would be talking about his performance.
Kara ranted something about that song he did last week, (“Jealous Guy”) but she still believes in him. Translation – she’d still hit that.
Simon heaves him under the bus calling it ‘zero emotion’ and lazy song choice.

Paint salesman Lee Dewyze is up next and looks like he’s been on a Happy Hour bender with drab brown crumpled shirt and grey tie askew. He babbled with Ryan about his song choice and how he’s not talked to his BFF GokeyGarcia since he left. He selected Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” and performed it once again in his best Dave Matthews imitation, mumbling in the same styling he always sings in, but he did attempt some facial contortions to assimilate emotional involvement. He ‘la-la-la-la-la-leid’ for what seemed way too long.

Randy was impressed because he’s a BoBo.
Ellen said she thought he was great and said the phrase, ‘better and better’ twelve times.
Kara took way too long to say really nothing, per her usual.
Simon said it was best of night, and only second song in. (What a tool.)

Highlight, besides Lee finally ending his song, Captain Sully, the guy who saved New York from a firey plane crash and many lives, some years back, was in attendance.

Tim Urban did GooGoo Doll’s “Better Days”; I thought he sang it quite well, he brought some palpable emotion; I really liked him. He did not do a copycat version and really, this was one of the least karaoke of the evening. VFTW slammed it as being out of tune, etc. but perhaps my four glasses of merlot helped with the sound… Alicia Keys liked him too, so Hell, good on Timmeh.
Tim Urban “Better Days”

Randy said it was an interesting choice and called it Karaoke said the song ‘laid there’.
Ellen copied Randy, yapped about soup.
Kara – who gives a shit.
Simon, said he’s improved but it was a little bit of a let down.
I call shenanigans on this entire judge panel.
Ryan called him gaspacho (cold fish soup).
(How freaking obvious, this week it’s toss Tim out week.)

Teeny tiny Aaron Kelly sang horrid child molester, R. Kelly’s song, “I Believe”. He was gravelly, karaoke and typical old Idol with over the top big notes, hyper-dramatic. Who is voting for this guy?

Randy, “You picked a giant, giant song, arrangement was funny to me”. Stupid Randy, that IS the way the song is done by any and every one who has ever done it.
Ellen said she did drugs in the ’70’s.
Kara told wee Aaron he flew.
Simon said he’d turn it off the radio in ten seconds then backtracks to call it good. (What a tool.)

Siobhan Magnus brought the Snow White Disney musical in her selection of “When You Believe”. Completing the birdies-should-be-flying-around-her-head vibe – her ensemble complete with 3-D butterflies, her hair looking as if she’d had it rubbed with a balloon before she hit stage.
“When You Believe’ Siobhan Magnus

Randy commended her for the toughest song of the night, then called it “Ok for me”.
Ellen disagreed and said it offered more confirmation as to why she’s there. (You know E likely loves Disney shows.)
Kara is completely baffled, per usual, thinking comes so hard for her. She offered to hang out with Siobhan but would not buy her records, as if that is something that should be considered a good thing.
Simon called it old fashioned and hated the leaves (butterflies) on her outfit. He tossed the “what a shame” diss at her. (What a tool.)


Michael Lynche with jelly rolls spilling over his jeans and thighs the size of Ryan Seacrest’s entire body continued to emit a full of himself ego-maniac vibe. He’s reminding me more and more of Magilla Gorilla.

He picks “Hero” from my favorite superhero movie, “Spiderman” complete with stupid arm gestures and wearing a guitar, occasionally strumming it. I’d like him to fly right out of there.

Randy thought he held his own, worked it out.
Ellen thought it was great.
Kara said it wasn’t her favorite performance, song unrecognizeable then she made this odd, “booop” sound. Thing is. he sang it just like Nickelback. Kara’s an idiot.
Simon says he’ll be back next week. (as likely they all will be)
Spiderman brought to you by Gorilla productions just because:

I love my Spiderman.

Crystal Bowersox sang “People Get Ready” because she’s really grateful for what’s happening in her life so far. She starts out ‘Bo Bice’ accapella with spot light – then goes gospel with back-up singers and piano. I liked her Hookah/bong-pipe mic stand, nice touch. She is without argument the best of the night, proving Simon’s giddy and planted announcement earlier of Lee, made into a Big Fail. Her tears at the end were brilliant.

Randy said he’s been a fan from day one, gives a standing ovation.
Ellen said she’s more beautiful than ever about four times.
Kara contributed she was glad she put the guitar down and said she just ‘schooled’ all the contestants.
Simon loved the tears. Of course. Called her fantastic, different class from the rest.
Her Dad was in attendance looking not unlike Hunter S. Thompson in oversized sunglasses.

So we had Simon Cowell wearing a big ol’ tool belt all night, the rest of the panel giving their ‘unscripted’ comments. Tim Urban delivered a good performance (for me), Casey James looked gorgeous (to me), Siobhan brought the Disney song, Lee was Dave Matthews, Fat Mike will need a wide-angle lens to capture all of his body and his ego next week and Crystal Bowersox won the show.

Odds are no one goes home tonight as it’s a charity special so all the frantic texting, calling will have been for naught.