IDOL BLUES: Maybe You Should

IDOL BLUES is back up public. I just know many of you cried yourself to sleep every night hoping I’d reopen that massive wonder of whatever it is. Dry your eyes darlings, because it’s back.

Maybe You Should: Taylor Hicks

Hit up IDOL BLUES for a view to the NING side of Taylor Hicks; it’s lip smacking good. IDOL BLUES.

Hand in Her Pocket and a Harmonica Rig: Is She a Taylor Hicks?

Crystal Bowersox the new Taylor Hicks on American Idol? Well not really, since she’s wearing Jason Castro dreads and did not sing “Change a Gonna Come” nor have gray hair, or lean to the right and “WOOO”, (darn it) but I have to admit I did like her best of the night.

She’s not got the most stand out wild personality or the best vocals, but she talked some smack at Cowell and managed to handle a harmonica rig and play the guitar and sing relatively well simultaneously. People, that’s not easy.

There’s something about her casual matter of fact attitude that I find appealing too, she doesn’t get all school-kid-nervy like most of the female contestants do on the show. I enjoyed too that she didn’t get whored-up like Katelyn Epperly did, or wear a huge floral arrangement in her hair like 60% of them did last night.

Likely she’d be someone I’d like hanging with in the Big Real.

Here’s what she did last night:
Hand in My Pocket, Alanis Morrisette

Regarding the rest of the gals on the top 12, I’ll combine that with a recap with the Top 12 guys to be posted on Friday.

Hollywood Week Equals Hell week

American Idol has progressed to the Hollywood week portion of the show. This is where they whittle down the contestants to an eventual two dozen out of the hundreds sent to Hollywood during the auditon processes.

This week comprised a night of solo performances and some eliminations Tuesday night, then Group sing, last night. Group sing night was a rather hairily put together conglomeration of contestants attempting to merge together up to create a performance. I found it borderline mind numbing and a scattered mess of too many people being shown for too short a period of time, a mish mashed mess. The only cohesive parts that I could ascertain, the show continued flashing to contestant Big Mike and his wife back home who was in the hospital laboring to birth their first child – alone. Well I guess, to be fair, Big Mike was there somewhat, it was like birth by Skype.

Then there was faux-rocker chick Mary Powers with her natty, waddy, odd-dyed hair yelling and glaring at everyone within twenty feet like she was on the verge of committing mass murder. He group members kept shooting semi-fearful glances at her as if they really never wanted to turn their backs on her for fear of suffering a stabbing between the shoulder blades. She yelled at her group members, she yelled at the music coaches, she was one angry, natty-haired diva. I give Mary some points for being at the very least the most entertaining part of this entire week.

Of course there were a lot of whining and crying going on but sadly no one hauled off and pummeled anyone else which would have at least shaken it up a bit. I kept rooting for Mary Powers to fill that void but while she certainly looked like she was thinking about it, never followed through.

Ellen did her step front, back and sideways thing again trying to bring some levity and humor but she did that last night too so let’s hope it is not going to be used again… once okay, twice not so much.

Jason Castro’s second time to try out bro, Michael was shown very briefly but we never heard him sing solo. No back story provided either so the producers obviously hate him.

Lady Gaga was featured in several group’s unfortunate covers including one group who had this Black chick wearing her hair completely over her eyes. It was really odd. I guess she was shooting for a Rhianna look but something about her purple tinged, highly shellacked forelock had me thinking of Dumb Donald from the Bill Cosby cartoon. Don’t take that the wrong way but those bangs were ridiculous.

Goggles wearing Mark Labriola hiccup-cried brokenly when he was dismissed for that sin of all sins, forgetting the lyrics.. Ryan Seacrest provided a nice long caress and hug. It was quite touching.

Jermaine Sellers validated Dave Della Terza’s “too much melisma” description. He warbled and screamed mercilessly. My own young ‘un turned to me and said, “Well now the show has a screecher.” You know there always has to be at least one big screecher per year. It’s a quota thing.

Overall throughout the tears, jeers and deranged looks the group rounds are over. Next week we get to see the 71 left standing sing again and then it’s the “chair” episode to turn out the top 24. As if I don’t already know who is going through…

That reminds me, I don’t think anyone has ever had a better “chair” scene than this guy: Taylor Hicks walks the Green Mile.

Whoopee.

Oh No He’s a Repeat Offender

Leave it to an intrepid ‘reporter’ at VFTW to uncover that our blonde American Idol contestant and stripping Texan, Casey James, has a criminal background. Yes, people the blue-eyed darling apparently has had a past of drinking and driving.

According to VFTW’s ‘smarterthanpickler’ “all the fat housewives and raging tards” because, of course you must be fat and a ‘tard’ to even think of considering him drool worthy need get over it. Right now go wipe off your blubbery tardish chins because it seems he’s been wheeling around town in a drunken haze trying to run over our children. Yes, it’s true.

Radaronline wrote, “RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that James has a criminal background and has served time in county jail following offenses of driving while intoxicated, driving with an invalid license and reckless driving. The first listed offense, for reckless driving, is from 11/03/01. James pled guilty, was fined $200 and given 30 days in jail as well as being placed on probation for 12 months.

Next up, on 12/29/02 James was busted for driving with an invalid license, to which he pled guilty, was fined $200 and sentenced to 30 days in jail. Finally, on the same date James was arrested for driving while intoxicated, to which he also pled guilty, was fined $300 and sentenced to 75 days in jail.”

‘Smarterthanpickler’ is apparently instigating a movement to eliminate our Texas Stripper with, “Hey Freaks, you’re drooling over a drunk repeat convict who doesn’t give a shit if he runs over children…maybe yours. You make me sick! Kick this inconsiderate convict off the show NOW!!!”. I looked but there isn’t a petition to sign but check back because one may appear yet.

From the comment section, next thing you know VFTW will start a biblical studies group or something. Now I’m not standing up for the man’s crime and certainly am not an advocate of drinking and driving. That is a completely ridiculously irresponsible act that has killed people and should merit strict punishment and the convicted offender should be denied the privilege of ever being able to drive again. Certainly if someone under the influence harms or kills anyone they should be put away just like they pulled the trigger on a firearm.

That said, at least for now, all we mothers can feel safe that he is locked up – in the A.I. Contestant Hotel. We need not worry Casey James might be out there shirtlessly motoring about town over the edge on Tequila or Jack Daniels hellbent on slaughtering our kids. Amen.

American Idol Put Your Hair Down (and take your shirt off)

Tonight’s show began with a trip down Daughtry memory lane. I didn’t remember this but apparently Chris Daughtry tried out in Denver, Colorado. Ryan Seacrest then proceeds to enlighten we viewers with the facts about Daughtry’s successes since the show; he’s gone platinum four times over and has had 20 number one hits. Doing the math here as well as looking over the number of tunes released by Daughtry it’s an interesting statement. Perhaps there’s some sort of higher mathematical equation involved that I’m missing. (Or an obtuse exaggeration.)

First guy up had some odd mistaken idea he resembled Jack Black, for me, did not see that at all, more like a cousin of last week’s Andrew Garcia, even sang a bit like him. His story line, Mom kidnapped him apparently during some sort of divorce, or otherwise custody battle. They proceeded to live like homeless tent dwelling gypsies for a few years from Hawaii to Alaska until his Daddy got him back. Seriously, how drunk was he when he thought this up?

Next treat, ghoulishly odd chuckling guy who wore a rather disconcerting trench coat that could have held an AK-47. Odder yet because everyone else seemed dressed for warm weather. Honestly I’d have had qualms about even allowing him into the building. Next time you guys run into a guy with a huge scar across his forehead going by the name of Mario Galvan, followed by odd, breathy laughter, run.

Next montage was almost VFTW worthy, really. A stream of failed contestants all spewing violent epitaphs. I rank Denver, The Mile High City, highest in number of angry cast-offs. So many failures, so many middle fingers, so many swear words.

Kimberly Kerbow hauled her 5 yr old daughter, Amelia along for the Cute Kid Factor. She changed the lyrics to her song to incorporate buying Rogaine for Simon – kicker – she was wearing a wig.

Danielle Hayes a singer in a cover band who also runs a Karaoke show comes in an emotional wreck. The struggle to make it in the music industry just so very hard. She does a passable Melissa Etheridge impression with a not bad sort of raspy voice. Simon moved to play Rescue Me, congratulates the show and himself by telling Danielle how he sees her as ‘broken’. He wants to save her from Corporate Hell. Yes, trying out on a reality karaoke show will save you. *insert eyeroll*

I was pleasantly jolted from almost nodding off by blonde-n-gorgeous Casey James.

He’s likely one of the prettiest guys to hit this show with long dirty-blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. He shows the scars from a motorcycle accident and apparently plays guitar. Listening to him speak, leaves no doubt he’s a local from Cow Town. Kara and Posh sit up straight and proceed to cream themselves – beauty moment, lovely Casey strips to the waist and Simon writhes uncomfortably in his chair. Geez, it would have only gotten better if they’d asked him to dance around a bit and perhaps loosen those jeans… Simon hates him but he goes through. Thank God.
Casey “Chippendales” James comes in about 1:08

His “Official” Face Book page.

He was followed by Tori in orange accompanied by her kid sister that presented the judges with drawings, then some horrible annoying guy names Austin something who envisioned himself the next Nick Lachey or something. Screaming delusional likely insane guy named Kenny came on making noises like, “aaaaaaaaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaa whoooohoooo aaaaa and I just want to be with you”. Another chick came on squealing like a stuck pig, a blithering Asian guy in blue from his glasses to his feet rounded up about ten more minutes I’ll never get back in my life.

Nicci Nix. a little rich kid whose Pop flew her all the way from Italy to try out with a voice like Minnie Mouse, provided a decent vocal audition, likely though we won’t have to see her much more.

Haeley Vaughn, cute girl with an odd lisp managed to make it through, she’s Black and an aspiring Country singer which makes her somewhat interesting. Word is she goes top 24.

Show ended on a more tragic note than usual, an obvious either staged moment or a fraternity dare had a guy play “bikini boy” (remember bikini girl?). He was of course quite terrible and did not do anything visually for that bikini. Funny? No not that either.

Searching more for Casey James I found this:

and this:

That Casey James has a kick ass Stevie Ray Vaughn tribute band Voodoo Blues. They are very good.