You Have to be Crazy to Want Celebrity

The same old story, different name of the obsession. It doesn’t matter really who it is in the world of celebrity, apparently it’s a part of the human brain anatomy to create a surreal environment. Following a few different fan groups along the lines of a scientific experiment has provided me an inside view of the beast the celebrity must deal with; one thing that maintains similarity – media and fan reaction.

Media supplies the fuel that feeds the fans’ reactions with stories or rumors following each other from one viral gossip site to another like a round robin game of Chinese Whispers. Each translation carrying more fantasy and an increasing sense of fact no matter if true or not. Meanwhile the celebrity of focus is left trying to scrabble some semblance of truth from the mess the media rats posing as journalists have created for them.

Likely this facet of almost immediate notoriety something guys like Taylor Hicks and Robert Pattinson had to fast track, both hit celebrity with a speed akin to a flash of light. Taylor Hicks became a household name and a pivotal force within a matter of weeks on the FOX reality show, American Idol. Rob Pattinson, hit the track after securing the role of tragic hero, lovestruck vampire, Edward Cullen, in the Stephanie Meyers’ book to movie series.

One of Taylor Hicks biggest challenges in the media has to do with the very thing he’s set himself as a career path – his singing. The gossip hags within the on-line vortex found early on if they wield insults and criticisms about the guy’s singing, their articles get hit hard. On one hand, the more something is said the more readers think it carries truth, the other hand, after a while those who continue to carry the story feel elevated, hip and in the know. Besides it is always more interesting and enjoyable to make fun of others lest you are the target or the butt of the joke. Problem here, this sort of thing creates it’s own demons that can be a real buzz-kill for an artist’s career path.

Fans too are targeted. By insulting the fans following the celebrity, intention to make that celeb look less desirable. The nuttier the fans portrayed, the more unattractive they may seem to be in pictures creates a more insulting and demeaning environment for the person they are following. Word catches on, readers read or look at photos of the folks media castigating and are given pause to think how they might not want to be a part of that crowd.

Most of the time media mongrels place fans following a celebrity in either the teen-age hormonally driven mindless bracket or the bored house wife category. I don’t care if the celeb is Joe Jonas, Taylor Hicks or Rob Pattinson or a Michael Buble’, the fans are thrown together in one of the two groups, or both.

In the case of Taylor Hicks, the ‘in’ thing concerning his fans: cast him as adored by plump females largely hanging in the menopausal crowd. You know, like perhaps an elderly Auntie who thinks a wild night out is dinner at Luby’s and Bingo. Can’t tell you how often I’ve read about the “Grannies” knitting him sweaters and scarves. Like anyone under fifty can’t knit. Okay, I can’t knit. Regardless of truth or untruth or really who cares how old someone is to enjoy music. This slant merely provides the media more fuel to attempt to sound witty, make snide comments and get internet attention. That is one thing important in the internet world since so many writing positions are not financially very viable and the attention can work for them on several levels.

Heckler writer, Stuart Heritage, one of the baddest boys when it comes to dissing celebs, he’s also one of my favorite celeb bashers, notably one of the funniest to read. “Taylor Hicks Unexplainably Labelled ‘Hot’” an article written by Heritage the year Hicks’ won Idol. Heritage draws the reader into the piece with, “Where did all the hot guys go? You know the ones we mean; the slightly overweight, prematurely grey hot guys that can’t manage to get through a rudimentary sentence without whooping like a Tourettes sufferer walking barefoot over Lego. Right girls?”.

In this piece, Heritage said, “Taylor Hicks In Producer Lawsuit Frenzy” says, “It’s hard enough winning a televised talent show like American Idol when you have the outward appearance of a fully functioning cognitive human being – so imagine how tough it must be for Taylor Hicks”. I mean damn, people, that’s funny. Thing is outside the humor those seeds of doubt hit the reader, sprouting ideas such as ‘hell, he’s just not cool, he is spazzy’ he’s an idiot.

Guys like Heritage are now running amuck with a viral campaign going on against Robert Pattinson that really stinks. Google alert after alert reads the same material as the entertainment sloughers vie for the funniest take on the idea that perhaps handsome Rob isn’t fond of bathing. I traced the first of this rumor to a male writer; in fact overall it is the male entertainment writers deriving the most glee in casting Pattinson in a bad light, or in this case, in a bad smell. I say don’t hate him because he’s beautiful.

“Twilight” is currently shooting in Vancover, and this article in the Vancover Sun discusses Canadian singer Adaline’s chance recent encounter with Pattinson at a club. Adaline said, following her brief moment spent with Pattinson, “In the end it was lovely to meet the man who so well depicted the character so many people love. I can tell you two things: 1) Even though Robert is not Edward, he has the same intense stare in real life. It took me off guard. 2) He smells lovely. The stinky thing is a bunch of tabloid garbage.”

Put that in your bong pipe Heritage, et al, and smoke it.

Another viral story that is in high repeat mode, Miley Cyrus’ comment about Pattinson not being liked for himself – rather the fans mistaking him for his movie character, Edward. (Not really that unlikely.) Naturally Heritage gives it a go to put fresh spin on it and liven up Cyrus’ statements in “OMG! Miley Cyrus Totally Doesn’t Love Robert Pattinson! Etc!”. Stuart shares with the readers, “Everyone knows that Robert Pattinson has two main target markets – hysterical teenage girls and lonley (sic) old women.

So Miley Cyrus should be perfect for him. Miley’s got a little bit of both Robert Pattinson fans in her – the enthusiasm and breathless cadence of a teenage girl, plus the speaking voice and dead-eyed world-weary cynicism of very, very old lady.” Hilarious, true but yet spookily accurate descriptor of Miley considering in public appearances evidence of a typical girl of her age sorely lacking.

One thing I have read extensively since I became a part of the Taylor Hicks’ fan base, the fans upset about how he’s portrayed, that he’s selected out of the world of celebs and singularly castigated and insulted. One thing I can confirm, that is not the case, the kind of abuse Taylor’s hit with is very similar to what many in the bright glare of celebrity experience. So take heart Soul Patrollers, (or just plain ol’ fans of Taylor Hicks), at least he’s not being accused of smelling like a ‘sweaty tramp’s dirty rectum like Pattinson.

(That poor kid’s transfixed.)


20 Responses to You Have to be Crazy to Want Celebrity

  1. Nice write-up. I shall find a bong pipe and smoke that thing you told me to smoke immediately.

  2. spinshack says:

    Hahaha! Scoot over, I’ll join you.

  3. Snowstorm says:

    Spin, nice blog. No doubt, Taylor’s fanbase took a part in destroying Taylor’s career. An older, crazy, over-invested fanbase will kill anybody’s career. His fans are a bunch of Mommas, defending him at the slightest bit of criticism. When will they realize that music is completely subjective and going all over the net, trying to sell him is pointless? It honestly reminds me of those crazy cults, trying to get new members. Focusing too much on the guy’s looks and not on his singing, also hurt him. The talent took a back seat. I really think after he won, he was believing his own hype (the comparisons to Elvis and so forth) and thought he could get by on his looks alone.

    Most of the Taylor’s failure, lies with him. He made a bad post-Idol cd and that was his shot. He should have been paying attention. People who saw him on Idol and voted for him were expecting a soul and blues cd. The next Michael McDonald? Perhaps the next John Mayer? Soul music has an edge to it, but instead we got corny pop ballads, 70’s/80’s music, watered down soul and a couple of Ray Charles rip-offs. Taylor did a poor job of representing himself, so then he came up with Modern Whomp and nobody, to this day, knows what the heck it is. Just not good enough. Granted, the Distance is an improvement over the TH cd, but people are not forgiving.

  4. spinshack says:

    I agree completely Snow regarding his thinking his Idol win and the reading of his own hype. He should have been pouring his heart into that post Idol album not partying all night with the boys in the band. Obviously the partying was much more fun.

    Notice not much in the reference any longer to Modern Whomp as a genre, that concept has been sent to the backseat. It’s just the name of his label now because I don’t even think he knew what the Hell he meant by it. None of the songs sound like the description he gave it as a ‘genre’ on any album he’s cut.

    The Distance needed to be much more than it is to overcome the disappointment from the Idol CD. No amount of Eric Clapton’s band members or producer yanked it up to the level he needed.

  5. Snowstorm says:

    Something tells me “Modern Whomp” was a stupid marketing scheme someone came up with (who knows if that came from Taylor or his record company/mgmt company). I’m sure they all got a cut from any profits it made. I remember he was selling tee shirts, hats and various merchandise with the “Modern Whomp” logo and I’m sure, at the time, the SP bought the stuff. Whatever the purpose of “Modern Whomp”, it was EPIC FAIL!

  6. spinshack says:

    One of the fans designed the logo – I’ve always wondered if she received a cut from her work. She gave it for Gray Charles to put up. Never heard what happened further. I was on a ‘need to know’ basis and obviously I did not need to know. lol

  7. Snowstorm says:

    A fan designed the logo? Wow, I never knew that. Why turn to a fan to design a logo? I find that odd.

  8. spinshack says:

    She was a regular on Gray’s – had her own site, Monkbot. I think GC asked her to try her hand at it, I thought she turned out a really good idea. Guess Gray won’t spill the info on that topic either.

  9. music maven says:

    Why should Gray spill anything? To be treated like crap again from the crazy ass faction of the soul patrol? People forget how truly ugly and petty it got. I don’t blame him one bit for pulling an “Eddie”. (Eddie & the Cruisers)

    Oh, and the logo was never on any of Taylor’s official merchandise. I doubt he ever even saw it. Let’s be real. Taylor was dealing with J Records and 19E management and playing in much bigger circles than we’re talking about.

    Personally, I think his failing was “turning it over” to people who he thought would be his salvation when he won AI. I think it took him about a year to realize that many of his own industry connections were better than those yahoos at J Records and his “crack management team”. Hence, the split.

    From then on, Taylor was playing catch up. All in all, he’s just fine. He’s overachieving in a realm that he likely never would have gotten to without the AI experience. It just seems like it’s the same conversation over and over and over again concerning Taylor. When does it end and people start to accept that it is what it is?

  10. […] I found this yesterday – someone’s written an entire blog post about me. I think they’re calling me a wanker in it, but they also say that I’m funny so […]

  11. spinshack says:

    That logo was utilized on Gray’s site, as I said, but I know how much being the expert on all things Gray means to you.

    I’ve long past accepted Hicks as is, this isn’t about that aspect nor the AI screw-job he experienced. In fact this is not just about Taylor even. It’s about celebrity and the craziness associated with that situation.

    Carry on.

  12. music maven says:


    Not to worry…carrying on.

  13. spinshack says:

    MM, did not intend to insult you – rather meant that should be taken as smart-assed good natured fun. Should have worked the /smartassed goodnatured fun] at the end of the statement.

  14. rosie says:

    I’m confused. Music Maven mentioned Tay had been with 19 management and the other day people on Grey’s said he never signed with 19 and that was why he got no support. What is the story? Did he lawyer up and refuse to sign with 19 management from the getgo? Someday someone from Arista, RCA will spill the beans as to what went down. If he should become successful and rich in the music business, someone will spill the beans. Should he not, then the story wouldn’t be worth revealing. As far as fame and celeb I think Taylor could handle it better than most. Carrie Underwood is handling her success well and she seemed such a wallflower on AI.

  15. spinshack says:

    You’ll have to refer to MM, she’s got the serious and authoritative word. /sarcasm meant well].

    He was signed with 19E – *correction* I had thought, but when checking history he’s not listed – he was with Arista J Records, but perhaps never actually hit the dotted line with 19E.

    What appears to have happened is he carried a different idea of what he envisioned and what the folks with 19E and co. wanted. Here’s what is interesting to me:

    Hicks came out after making the Idol CD praising it, saying it was a complete representation of him as an artist. He said that to GC in an interview as well. He said he was proud of the CD. He did refuse to put “Do I Make You Proud” on it. Some think that a big mistake. Whether or not he can handle Big Fame or better than most debatable Rose since he did not come off Idol casting himself in a completely winning way. You see part of handling the fame is handling the people who can help you or kill your career.

    Hell I’ll stop here and just make a new blog about it.

  16. Snowstorm says:

    If I remember correctly, Taylor signed with The Firm as his management company, not with 19E. Something tells me 19E was not too pleased about that and I’m wondering how much legal maneuvering went on to get him out of those contracts. The Firm did a good job in getting him all those appearances after he won, but maybe it was too much. I think the American public just wasn’t into Taylor’s music…it’s just not popular.

  17. […] I wrote a blog about celebrity. I stuck with Taylor Hicks and my new shiny thing, Robert Pattinson, as two examples. The topic […]

  18. music maven says:

    I was incorrect. It was The Firm. To me, they’re all the same cretins. Sorry for the error.

  19. […] This post was Twitted by Suns39 […]

  20. […] insightful and interesting person. Writing a post about Taylor Hicks one afternoon, I decided to link up with some articles Stuart (scroll down my post in that link) had written about Mr. Hicks in the past. They were of course, […]

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