In one of Jersey Irish’s comments to me, she sort of – inadvertently – compared me to her squeaky ironing board. Or did she?
My sweet on-line friend wrote, “Spin, Too funny!!! My ironing board was squeaking really bad, hubby went and got the W-D and was like a mad man trying to get the squeak to stop, It finally stopped and the W-D went away for now.
JI” after reading my recent post regarding creative use of WD-40 and whatnot.
Now this is a creative use of ironing board if I’ve ever seen one.
“Ironing Board Blues” John Fuggle
Then there’s always the Burn in Hell theory of thought. Likely more what the gentleman in question has in mind for me.
“Burn in Hell” Twisted Sister
I always get a giggle out of Twisted Sister. They so crazy.
Story to come soon. For now an image. Or two.
Yes he’s trying to grease the skids. Rife with unknown manifestations and ill behavior he resorts to the WD-40 to try and assauge the situation. Alas. That’s not the remedy. I wanted flowers. Yellow roses would have been nice.
He does have a nice ass.
That goes along with his Being An Ass at times. Word to the wise. I’ve walked through fire. Never underestimate me.
“Hard Sun”
“How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I’ve never been this nasty
Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don’t mean it
I mean it, I promise
You say I don’t need you but it’s always gonna come right back…”
Please don’t leave me (live@4music) Pink
No, this is more like how my special man-friend deals with me lately. Mean, mean, mean man.
Just heard this for the first time on my way home this afternoon. I like it; she has a nice voice, really.
Taylor Hicks has been up in Seattle, Washington since May 12, this the last date of the “Grease” tour, next stop Appleton, WI. Seattle is known for the rain, the cloud cover, but I do have relatives who reside in a nearby town, so I know it’s not rain, rain everyday.
Isn’t it special how Mr. Hicks incorporates mention of how much he likes the Sun? Yes, naturally I’m making it all about me.
I like this tune from Seattle, had the most harmonica out of the videos seen so far.
“Hide Nor Hair” Taylor Hicks
video c/o NJ4Taylor
Yeah, like that. “Oh, I was lying in the bed with fever
And I was burning up inside
My baby walked in my bedroom…” Lyrics
People disagree sometimes, they fight, it’s a way to clear the air. No need in a permanent impasse. Look, puppies, kitties and baby ducks. A hippo. Bears. A lion cub. Let’s be friends, again.
Seattle Weekly writer wrote: “Spotted: American Idol winner Taylor Hicks, who currently stars as Teen Angel in Grease at 5th Avenue Theatre, attempting to go incognito in a baseball cap while crossing the sidewalk at 5th and University. Fans shouted his name and a very pissed off looking Hicks gave a half wave and kept on walking. Damn, Taylor. Be a little friendlier with your fans. They’re the reason you won Idol and got your current acting gig. Nobody likes an ungrateful tool.”
Now naturally, Erika Hobart with this one sighting, has the line on Mr. Hicks. Interesting she can read his look as being ‘pissed off’ from third party conversations. That’s some kind of gift into facial reading. Perhaps she should check this site: Face Perception. Writers can be tools as well, especially gossip writers.
Besides, he always looks like that; it’s those dark eyes and full eyebrows. Man can’t help but look intense.
“Seven Mile Breakdown” Taylor Hicks San Francisco, 2009
Sweet dreams are made of these. The song that certainly fits what I’m about to tell you. I’m going to shine some focus on myself, as well as share a piece of magic. My post today might feel a little like ‘So what did you do last Summer?’ except it has nothing to do with Summer. It’s more about what I have done for the past several years which apparently has lead to what has culminated in my focus the past several weeks. I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing the light shine down on someone incredibly shiny; a person who is a definitive notch above the regular human animals found in the general populace. Well, at least that is how he seems to me.
Not many of you on-line readers or friends know that I have been sick these past several years. Last thing I ever want is for anyone to feel sorry for me or feel pity, my pride just could not stand it. I have a chronic condition called lupus. It’s a disease that varies in symptoms from individual to individual, some have more severity and intensity of the manifestations that this disease is able to work on a body’s systems, physically. It also carries a weight on your mental standings since this disease can turn on you in a moment, it can kill you. You have to live with that knowledge. On the flip side, this disease can suddenly decide to stop what havoc it may be wrecking on your physical being and go into a remission. Vanish like a ghost. Everyone with this disease hopes for that outcome.
I’ve seemingly been given a second chance. How long this second chance will last is unknown. It could last forever. I could be symptom free the rest of my life. Too, it could only last a short time. I’ve been in a state that has varied from extreme joy to fear thinking that it could come back. Life is looking so full I have to just run out and grab it every moment.
In the beginning of this illness my symptoms began manifesting during my pregnancy with my ten year old. I had massive swelling in my legs, ankles and feet. It was incredible. The OBGYN put blame on what I was eating, drinking, my sitting, I was put on bed rest for the last two months of the pregnancy. After her birth, that first six months, the pregnancy hormones began filtering out of my system. By the time she was seven months I knew something was wrong with me. I did not feel right.
Massive tests went on and on and I was screened for brain tumors, cancer, MS, you name it. Ending result was SLE, Systemic lupus erythematosus a chronic, multifaceted inflammatory disease capable of affecting every organ system of a person’s body. Initially I was terrified; had never even heard of it.
I received medical treatment, put on a strict regimen of pharmaceuticals and things leveled out for me, but I did not return to my previous high energy self. Time passed and the condition worsened. My heart, lungs and my kidneys were affected. I was on more drugs, more trips to the hospital.
IDOL BLUES and my on-line situations with various cast members that make up the Taylor Hicks fan world became a separate entity for me. A true escape from the everyday issues I dealt with and lived with and sought to avoid. When not dealing with the real world and all that went with it, I escaped into my interesting childrens’ lives and this almost fantasy on-line world. Focusing on me was just depressing, limiting and not a lot of fun. I was me but yet I wasn’t me anymore, unable to do much of what I once loved doing. I had to avoid sunlight, I had to avoid getting too tired, which was all too easy. I had issues breathing much of the time, issues with horrible headaches, body and joint pain and general malaise. It damn sucked to be me.
Taylor Hicks provided me hours of entertainment with his musical career highs and lows. His American Idol experience was absolute fun. The whole fan world situation surrounding him has also provided me hours of entertainment – the doings of his fans and the fascinations with him and with each other.
Anyway, the past five years were the worst. I developed the heart inflammation issues, lung inflammation and kidney disorders. I’ve been on steroids, I hit chemo, name it I endured it. One other big escape for me was sleeping – I developed this whole other world in my dreams. I began writing them down and compiling a story of sorts from the dreams. Center in my story, a man. He was funny, sweet, kind, a best friend. He did not look like anyone I’d ever met.
He had lovely red-blonde hair, incredibly blue eyes. In my dreams I knew him as “Adam”. Having him to go to in my sleep was amazing and comforting. Like some sort of imaginary friend. I actually was one of ‘those kids’, I had an imaginary friend. He went everywhere I did and was especially soothing while I underwent treatments for asthma or allergy shots. If I was lonely or scared he was there. Thing is, he was a horse who talked rather like Mr. Ed only he was chestnut with a flaxen mane and tail. I called him Hotspur, no idea where that name came from either. Yes, my parents thought I was strange when they found out about Hotspur, but then they always tell me I was an unusual child. He was with me from the time I was three years old, while relocating to the Phillipines I became so sick I had to be hospitalized upon arrival. That’s when I first imagined Hotspur.
Now I’m married, have been married three times. Once to a musician – that marriage lasted under two years; I wound up leaving him for another musician for a brief spell that just wasn’t meant to be. Second husband I met while on a trip, I use to travel all the time. I was down in Ixtapa, Mexico. I worked as a travel contractor for various wholesale travel companies securing them contracts for room space in hotels, on tours, etc. It was a fascinating job and while it wasn’t high paying I was able to travel for free, all my expenses paid. I was carefree and open to all sorts of adventures, I was also quite good at negotiations and so that certainly helped. It was a gypsy lifestyle but I loved it.
Husband number two was vacationing, accompanied by two women. He was seated under one of the beach cabanas near mine; he rose to go to the oceanside bar and the sun hit his black, glossy hair. I was fascinated. He was tall, dark and handsome with deep dimples when he smiled. One look and I was devastated. One look and his two companions had no chance; I decided he was for me. The next night, like out of some torrid romance novel, we wound up together on the moonlit beach. He’d seen me leave the beachside restaurant with a bottle of wine. I was heading out for a walk but had flashed him a smile across the room. Needless to add, his companions were alone the rest of that trip. He relocated to my home base, Dallas. Our relationship lasted five years but I grew tired of his control issues. He did not want me working, he did not like my friends, family. It escalated to violence and control so severe I was not even allowed to leave the house while he was at work and never after dark. I was basically that man’s prisoner. I got out.
I met Darling Man while taking some writing and art classes at a local university. He was in an accounting class I had decided to take on as well. The room had these high windows and the sunlight was shining through. As I entered the stadium type seating classroom and looked up, a beam of light hit him like a shimmering ray. Next thing he’s sitting beside me, we’re dating, then married. We had Darling Daughter, then I became sick.
This past January some sort of switch flipped in my body’s system. I began feeling differently, physically. It has been similar to being awakened after a long sleep. By March I was making changes in myself, felt this incredible energy and feeling of transformation. I began riding my bike again. My head felt clear and my body was up to doing activities I loved before. It’s been incredible. It’s been a gift. I feel everyday I must push myself and go and do and live because I’m fearful the past several years of feeling not like myself will return and I don’t want that to ever happen. Thing is, my dreams of that golden haired man stopped.
I’ve not been following the Taylor Hicks fans or Mr. Hicks much in the past month, that lead one of my favorite Hicks’ friends to ask me, “Well, Spin..I was wondering where in the hell you went to..glad to see you back.” after posting on her site the other day.
My response to her was, “I’ve been on ’sabbatical’ chasing a fabled ‘unicorn’. It’s been quite a little adventure…” I’ve also been writing on my project – this ‘unicorn’ – this individual has been a heavy muse for me, he’s been inadvertently feeding the creative juices and they’ve been intoxicatingly enjoyable.
I sort of fell into a state of limerance, you could say. I met someone whom I have talked with in quite a different way than I’ve ever talked to anyone else. This is in light of the fact I don’t really know him, but he just felt familiar from my first ‘finding’ him. Interestingly perhaps I wandered into him while working on a post about – Taylor Hicks. So as it has seemed throughout my life finding those ’shiny’ objects once again leads me onto paths I need tread, have experiences I must follow.
This man pulled me in with his spark, his fire, his insane humor. He absolutely blazes with a passion for life, connection, heart. Curiously he has red blonde hair and incredibly blue eyes. I have found myself wrongly and idiotically lovesick over this man I’ve never met in person. I’ve felt guilt over this attachment I developed considering my actual circumstances. I’ve also wondered if this newly awakened self of mine who had lay dormant for so long might be a manifestation of some sort of brain malfunction suffered while in my deepest part of my illness.
It’s been exciting finding such a muse as he, yet hauntingly sad in ways I can’t put my fingers on. It’s been ridiculous yet I have enjoyed this time, however brief it might be, meeting this beautiful man. It’s come to pass in obvious ways, this arrangement of ours might not be what’s best for him. For me, meeting him felt like deja vu realized. For him, likely a confusing situation that has him possibly unhappy. Something I do not want for him, not at all. I mean, in the real world, people really don’t meet like this do they? Especially when their real life situations are already set, complicated and the relationship seemingly one made of huge impossibilities. Too he’s a loyal man who, in exhibiting disloyal behavior, being in a relationship, he’s not happy with himself. That’s an admirable quality.
One thing, coming out from my self-imposed sabbatical, I’m seeing a refueling for my project. This fascination of mine has provided an almost other worldly near mystical experience for me. The coming out from under the lupus, my incredible feelings of transformation and renewal, this communication or whatever it is with this man, has been not unlike discovering that yes, indeed in another time and place there really were unicorns. Unicorns running around under real rainbows with actual puppies and kittens complete with elves.
Thing is – real life – is there any place for unicorns? THAT is the question. It is turning out to be one fine story to write.
Imprinting. Defined in noun form as: Animal Behavior, Psychology. Rapid learning that occurs during a brief receptive period, typically soon after birth or hatching, and establishes a long-lasting behavioral response to a specific individual or object, as attachment to parent, offspring, or site.
Obviously that definition in particular refers to the phenomenon witnessed in the animal kingdom and particularly true in the case of ducks and other fowl. It’s a well documented occurrence the phenomenon of birds, upon hatching attaching themselves to the first being they may encounter. They also have the propensity to follow the next best thing should something happen to their initial focus of attention.
Puppy and Duckling:
Fan behavior is not that unlike ‘imprinting’. Similar to the state of mind termed, ‘limerance’, which has been defined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov as an involuntary cognitive and emotional state. In other words, something or someone inadverdently flips a switch in your mind and that gray matter in your head reaches back to the primal instinct to attach. The person or thing of interest may remind you of someone in your past, or simply trigger a pleasant emotional response.
Being a natural and common condition no regular Joe is immune. It does show a marked intensity for persons with a propensity toward Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. So if you are one who must check your locks on the doors several times before retiring, or once you find an interest immerse yourself as deeply as possible, you my friend are more easily sucked in – well, at least until the novelty wears off.
Apparently, when in this state of ‘limerance’ the person affected can experience intense romantic desire or emotional attachment toward their interest. Studies have shown actual brain chemistry affected by the perceptions felt or idealized by the individual. That chemical alteration often sufficient to propel ‘imprinted’ emotions by inciting pleasurable electrical charges in the gray matter upstairs, creating what can be best described as a virtual dopamine drip. Reality can sometimes be impaired by the pleasure center of your mind, as your brain trips along on that feel good rush. Your actual moods affected, emotions triggered such as intense joy or extreme despair depending on the circumstance. Certainly it can be fun and interesting while it lasts.
How ‘limerance’ is often most appropriately described – an ‘emotional affair’. Limerance cited relationships are by nature, chaste, physically unconsumed. Factors involved in these relationships remaining as established may include loyalty to preexisting relationships, distance, impracticality such as a business or working relationship, or just the pure enjoyment of a fantasy.
Romantically described as an ‘affair of the heart’, this attachment can sometimes be maintained simply by the pleasure obtained by verbal, mental and assimilative contact. I am researching this topic in relation to my ‘project’ I’ve in the works. Too, every time I step into one of my Taylor Hicks friends’ websites I’m reminded of this phenomena. In the case of being a fan of a celebrity as one example, the fantasies themselves often sufficient to continue the momentum for continuing with the interest.
Examples of how, in the case of fandom, fantasy often sufficient to propel the brain dopamine drip can be witnessed in examples featured on such black humor driven websites such as IdleTard.com. Fan fiction, a commonplace topic on IdleTard.com, brought out as entertainment, reveals the imaginative workings of fans desiring to create a stimulating virtual world. Stories insert the writers into the real life of their obsession, therefore pumping the dopamine and assisting in the sensation of pleasure, reinforcing continued interest.
Savvy entertainers understand some of this process, perhaps not on a direct awareness level but more in an intrinsic, intuitive manner. It goes along with the primordial need lurking in the wrinkles in our brain to imprint, acknowledge that imprinting and to feel connected. Savvy entertainer like John Mayer comes to mind, he seems quite good at keeping his fingers on the pulse of his fanbase. He’s also open and communicative with his fans.
It doesn’t take much to make fans feel connected and that a celebrity cares. One celeb I follow, on the new “hot thing” twitter, Eddie Izzard. Been a fan of his for years. Mr. Izzard posts dry comments on the weather from where ever he may be sometimes with an aside about thoughts of the moment. I’ve taken it upon myself to respond in kind, limiting my responses back normally only when he mentions the sun or it being sunny. I am aware of the psychological nuance, but it’s like this “thing” and actually increases my enjoyment and perception of the man. Small things, people.
Thing is, we as human animals will always carry that ‘baby duck’ primal thinking pattern. What we need recognize is the reality as it truly exists and the ability to determine what context it appropriately fits within our lives. Now back to my project.
Posted by spinshack 
Posted by spinshack 
Posted by spinshack 
Psychology. Rapid learning that occurs during a brief receptive period, typically soon after birth or hatching, and establishes a long-lasting behavioral response to a specific individual or object, as attachment to parent, offspring, or site.
